Pancakes For Dinner
by Case Chordlace
Summary: Collection of oneshots featuring mostly Harry and Hermione. HPHG
1. The Reasoning One

The Reasoning One

"Let's go out."

Hermione surfaced from her essay. "Now?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

There was silence as Harry contemplated her answer.

"I don't like your reasoning. Let's go."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You used that already."

"So?"

"You can't do that."

"Says who?"

"The rules."

"What rules?"

"Mine."

"Yours?"

"Mine."

"Why should I follow your rules?"

"Because you are associated with me. Therefore, they apply to you."

There was another pause as Hermione contemplated his answer.

"Let the record show that I didn't go willingly."

"Fantastic. Where do you wanna go?"

She pursed her lips and returned to writing.

**

* * *

Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note : **This is what I do when I get my computer back : start a new collection! Don't freak out yet, I haven't finished with EI, I've just given myself more work, that's all. Because I'm just masochistic like that. Sigh.

I haven't really decided on a theme for this one. I don't think I will. I think instead I'll just set a story limit. Not sure what number though. Too many authors make their collections for nice, round numbers, if they bother to at all. Like ten, or one hundred. Even one hundred and one. Where's the fun, quiirky numbers? 94 is a much more interesting number. Not to say that this collection will have 94 drabbles.

You realize that this author's note is just one stream of consciousness? I find they're more interesting this way.

I'm not sure if I'll stick with the 100 word limit. We'll have to see. Everything is up in the air, like juggling balls that haven't come down yet. Or balloons that still have helium in them. Or a pancake. My friend owes me pancakes.

**Quiirk :** A crocodile really does produce tears, but they're not due to sadness. The tears are glandular secretions that work to expel excess salt from the eyes. Hence, "crocodile tears" are false tears.

-bella


	2. The Muffin One

The Muffin One

"Get me a muffin."

"Get off your ass and get it yourself."

"But it tastes so much better when you get it."

"I think you're confusing me with someone who likes you enough to care whether your muffin tastes good."

"Owch."

"Try me next week when you want cake."

"Cake.... Get me–!"

"Letting you finish that would kill a fairy."

"And then you expect me to get you stuff? Hah! Well, not until you make me a muffin!"

"Harry, hand me that book, please?"

"Sure." The book was in her hand when he realized his error. "Bugger!"

She just grinned.

**

* * *

Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note : **Believe it or not, I really wanted a muffin when I wrote this. I still want one. Well I know what I'm doing tomorrow, if I remember.

**Quiirk :** The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular.

-bella


	3. The Slick One

The Slick One

"Harry!" The smarter Gryffindors bolted–courage could go screw itself when Hermione Granger was angry.

"Wait, before you start telling me off for something I did–I didn't do it."

Hermione crossed her arms.

"I've been here all afternoon. Ask anyone! I've been playing chess with Ron since I got back from class! There's no way I did any mischief tonight, you see."

She narrowed her eyes.

"The only thing I see is your sorry ass here in the common room when you were _supposed_ to be meeting me at the library an hour ago!"

Harry paled.

Damn. He just couldn't win.

**

* * *

Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note :** This one was originally gonna be about slippers. But I got distracted. I generally am very good at being distracted. The way to get me to do something is to tell me something else has to be done. It's ridiculous.

**Quiirk :** Penguins only have sex once a year.

-bella


	4. The Double Check One

The Double-Check One

"Thank you, Harry, but I don't want a muffin this morning."

Harry nearly choked. "Mmmph?"

"I will take a bit of your sausage though." She cut off a piece without waiting for his answer. "Mm, that's good. Why don't I have these more often?"

Harry just stared at her.

"I think I'll have one."

Harry swallowed his mouthful.

"Where were we and what were we doing last night?"

She tilted her head, "necking in the room of requirement?"

He cocked his head, "well, you seem to be Hermione."

"What do you mean?"

"You always have a muffin."

"So sue me."

* * *

**Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note : **Most of these snippets start out as a completely different idea. This one was supposed to involve Crookshanks. Meh. I had a muffin yesterday, and now I really want another one. This is, I think, the second snippet that involved a muffin. I don't think I've satisfied my muffin craving. I might have a bit of a problem. Enjoy!

**Quiirk :** A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.

-bella


	5. The Redundant One

The Redundant One

"Are you done?"

"Are you?"

"I asked you first."

"I asked you _second_."

"I asked first. You have to answer first."

"No. Me first."

"I don't have to answer you just because you won't answer me."

"You do if you want my answer."

"I can live without your answer."

"Keep telling yourself that. What were we on about?"

"I dunno. You done? I want to go to the Room to practice some spells."

"I can think of much better things for you to practice."

"I'm sure you can. Now, let's go."

"You spoil all my fun."

"I _am_ your fun."

* * *

**Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note : **I know, I know. It's been years since I last updated. But it really couldn't be helped, I had other things that just needed to be done. I only found time to write today. I hope you enjoy!

**Quiirk :** A hard-boiled egg will spin. An uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not.

-bella


	6. The Bargaining One

The Bargaining One

Hermione situated herself in her chair with a large tin.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Cookies."

Harry's eyes widened considerably. "Can I have one!"

"Depends on what kind they are."

"Looks like chocolate chunk."

"_Hell _no! These are mine!"

"But there are dozens in here! I just want one!"

"What're you gonna give me?"

"Now we're bargaining?"

"These are _chocolate chunk_ cookies we're talking about."

"My Cloak."

She pretended to consider. "Not good enough."

"That box of sugar quills."

"No."

"You name something then."

"I want a kiss–after you've had a cookie."

He would have laughed if he wasn't so delighted.

"Deal."

**

* * *

Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note : **This is just an old idea reworked after I didn't touch it for years. I'm fairly happy with the outcome. Blast these 100 word limits.

**Quiirk :** In a test performed by Canadian scientists, using various different styles of music, it was determined that chickens lay the most eggs when pop music was played.

-bella


	7. The Conditional One

The Conditional One

"Harry, I swear, you owe me so bad for all these late nights. You'd think you'd have learned to do your essays on time by now."

"It's your fault! You've spoiled me!"

"Yeah, that's definitely the case. You're just lazy!"

"Okay, maybe that plays a small part."

She snorted.

"Shush."

"You're impossible."

"But you love me anyway."

"I don't have any more love left for today; I already mailed it. It should be here tomorrow."

"You think you're clever."

"I think I'm the one correcting your essay."

"I think I'll shut up and read my potions text."

"You're catching on."

**

* * *

Length :** 100 words

**Disclaimer :** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any characters or situations that are unknown in the Harry Potter series are the author's intellectual property and should not be used without permission.

**Author's Note :** I was just thinking–sometimes I say that I love someone sometimes, or, only every other Tuesday–as a joke. Of course I love them all the time. But that was what inspired this little snippet.

Just a little sub note, I'm running out of quiirks, so if anyone has any interesting or funny or goofy or thought-provoking or odd or downright unnecessary little quiirks, feel free to send them to me by way of review or private message!

**Quiirk : **A "hairbreadth away" is 1/48 of an inch.

-bella


End file.
